Editors Note:
The phenomenal response to the Just for the ASKING! (JFTA!) issue titled Levity with Brevity – Part I led Bruce to compile this month’s issue titled Levity with Brevity – Part II: The More the Merrier. Humorous and inspirational quotes as well as short thought-provoking nuggets play an important role in our work at Just ASK. Don’t miss the quotes Marcia Baldanza includes in each Empowered 3.2.1 or our Points to Ponder video clips (quotes set to music) on YouTube. You might also want to check out Bruce’s book Points to Ponder for even more thought-provoking words of wisdom. PMR
April 2021
Volume XVIII Issue III
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The More the Merrier
Levity with Brevity – Part II
Many teachers wake up thinking about the day ahead. From the moment they log onto their computers, they are on! They do not know if their plan will work or if their students will respond. It is serious business day after day.
During the pandemic much of the literature has focused on the negative aspects of the last year. As I pointed out in Levity with Brevity – Part 1, I watch for light-hearted posts that make me smile and keep a log if items that I find particularly humorous. In a recent gathering of educator friends, I handed out a draft of the pieces I had collected to see what their reaction would be. What began as quiet silent reading soon erupted into loud laugher. As I watched and listened to their reactions, I realized that there is no such things as too much joviality! Enjoy the brief tidbits in this month’s issue and share them with your colleagues, family, and friends.
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Sometimes I shock myself with the smart stuff I say and do. Other times, I try to get out of the car with my seat belt still on.
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Do y’all remember, before the Internet that people thought the cause of not learning was the lack of access to information? Yeah, it wasn’t that.
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For the second part of this quarantine do we have to stay with the same family or are they going to relocate us? Asking for a friend.
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Don’t claim 2021 as “your year.” We’re all going to walk in real slow. Be good. Be quiet. Don’t. Touch. Anything.
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I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.
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As I watch the dog chasing his tail, I thought dogs are easily amused. Then I realized I was watching the dog chase his tail.
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I didn’t sleep well last night so I made my coffee this morning with Red Bull instead of water. I got half way to work before I realized I forgot my car.
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Things I need to stay six feet away from: Refrigerators, credit cards, Amazon.
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Good moms let you lick the beaters. Great moms turn them off first.
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I don’t need to know the entire plot for 2021. I just need to understand if I should buy skincare and sweatpants or a purse and some shoes.
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Anybody that can do at 65 what he was doing at 25 wasn’t doing much at 25.
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The only person that calls me every day is the guy who wants to repair my roof or clean my air vents.
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Administrators in 2020: Please be prepared to teach online, in person, both simultaneously, on a moving train, while juggling, in a burning building, under the sea, during wrestling match with a T-Rex, as a hologram, and riding a unicorn. Also be safe and we value you.
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Does a waterbed become more bouncy if you use spring water?
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Let me get this straight; you’ve eaten bologna your entire life, but you’ll refuse a vaccine because you don’t know what’s in it.
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I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the Internet… I asked my 17 brothers and sisters, and they don’t know either.
Does anyone know how long toilet paper lasts if you freeze it?
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My friends are posting pictures of themselves doing yoga during the quarantine. I’m just happy getting my legs into my slacks without losing my balance.
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I don’t know how to use Tik Tok, but I can write in cursive, do long division, and tell time on a clock with hands… so there’s that.
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This quarantine made me realize I have no real hobbies besides going out to eat and spending money.
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I changed all my passwords to “incorrect.” So whenever I forget it will tell me, “your password is incorrect.”
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My eight year- old in the car today: “Do you want me to throw the confetti in my pocket?”
Me: No, not in the car. Why do you have confetti in your pocket?
8 year old: It’s my emergency confetti. I carry it everywhere in case there is good news.
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Of all the things I learned in grade school, trying to avoid cooties was the last one I expected to use later in life.
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Alcohol does not solve problems, but neither does milk.
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You laugh, I laugh; You cry, I cry; You jump off a really high cliff, I yell “Do a flip.”
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Money can’t buy you happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
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Help someone when they are troubled and they will remember you when they are in trouble again.
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On a much lighter note, I just caught my son drinking his grape juice out of a wine glass on his school Zoom meeting, so I can anticipate someone should be here to arrest me shortly.
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If you wait long enough to make dinner, everyone will just eat cereal. It’s science.
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Do not drink while wrapping presents; if anyone gets a remote control for Christmas, I need that back.
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Remember as you slide down the great bannister of life, there are gonna be people who are splinters in your butt. Pick ‘em out and slide on!!
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No matter how big and bad you are, when a two-year old hands you a toy phone, you answer it.
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I have no clue what’s open or closed anymore. I just walk towards automatic doors and if my face hits the glass, I turn around and go home.
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I told my suitcases that there would be no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
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A telemarketer called and asked to speak to whoever runs the household, so I passed the phone to my dog.
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Posted on ‘Next Door’: Seeking one night stand… possibly two since I have two lamps.
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If 2020 was a math problem: If you’re going down a river at 2 mph and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?
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You never take a such a good nap that you thought you missed the school bus. But it’s Sunday….and you’re 32.
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HR: What sort of perks would make your life better?
Me: Higher salary, flexibility, more vacation time
HR: LOL here’s some potato chips and permission to wear jeans on Friday.
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Think you’re bored? Sir Isaac Newton invented calculus during the plague. Do you have any idea how bored you have to be to invent calculus?
When I have a problem, I sing. Then I realize my voice is a lot worse than my problem.
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Your daughter: Grandma said in her day, she did three times the work you do today.
Mother: In Grandma’s day, they had cocaine in the soda.
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I wonder what people who type “u” instead of “you” do with all their free time?
She: I saw a moose on the way to work this morning.
He: How do you know he was on his way to work?
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I tried to start a day without coffee once. My court date is pending.
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One thing no one ever talks about when it comes to being an adult is how much time we debate keeping a cardboard box because it’s, you know, a really good box.
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How to improve staff meetings: Provide all teachers with pillows to scream into whenever new procedures are announced.
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Teacher: Where is your homework?
Me: I lost it fighting some kid who said you weren’t the best teacher ever.
© 2021 Just ASK Publications & Professional Development
Permission is granted for reprinting and distribution of this newsletter for non-commercial use only. Please include the following citation on all copies:
Oliver, Bruce. “The More the Merrier: Levity with Brevity, Part II. Reproduced with permission of Just ASK Publications & Professional Development.
